“The first episode of Channel 4’s controversial new dating show Virgin Island finally hit screens on Monday, and viewers were quick to slam the opener as ‘excruciating.’”, — write: www.dailymail.co.uk
The series follows 12 adults who have never had sex before, who travel to a retreat in Croatia to complete a range of tasks in the hope of losing their virginity.
While the show uses a range of methods, as well as guidance from sexologists and surrogate partner therapy, viewers were quick to share their appall at the show.
The opener introduced a range of virgins who have their various fears around intimacy, including bisexual receptionist Taylor, 29, who burst into tears while maintaining eye contact with another contestant, and Zac, 28, who is keen to have sex with his assigned surrogate partner in the first session.
Fans were quick to share their disgust for the show, with one even branding it a ‘new low’ for television.
Posts on X included: ‘In my opinion, this is a bit twisted, they need to work on themselves first, being a virgin is nothing to be embarrassed about #virginisland I think is bizarre. FFS get ready for my rants;
‘This is so exploitative. I’m panicking myself and now I’m watching it at home!! I can’t even imagine being one of them right now. This is awful;
‘I’m finding this very creepy, I wouldn’t like that and I’m not a virgin, the therapists are strange this is not right;
‘Anyone else a bit creeped out by this show?; Didn’t think TV would get any lower, then pops along #virginisland
‘It feels wrong to be watching this;
‘That was an absolutely excruciating watch – see you all tomorrow.’
The groundbreaking new six-part series sees sexologists Dr Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman and their team, guide the group of virgins on a unique course.
According to her website, Dr. Danielle is ‘passionately committed to helping people grow, heal, and fully embrace the richness of their erotic and emotional lives.’
She has a PHD in Human Sexuality, a Master’s in Clinical Social Work, and a Bachelor’s in Psychology and Educational Counselling.
Celeste is trained in attachment psychology, sociology, gender studies, and body-based modalities.
She has a Masters in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and a BA in Women’s Studies from UCSC.
The contributors, all aged between 22 and 30 years old, will overcome a range of emotional hurdles to take their first steps towards sex and intimacy.
Ahead of the series’ launch, co-founders of the Somatica Institute, Danielle and Celeste defended the use of ‘surrogates’ who are helping the 12 people lose their virginity on camera – as they branded sex on other TV shows ‘harmful and unrealistic’.
When asked if she felt there was too much sex on TV, Celeste said: ‘I don’t know if there’s too much, but the quality of sex on television is abysmal.
‘It’s like three kisses up against the wall, pulling off the pants, sticking it in, and then it’s over.’
She felt it would be more helpful a ‘more realistic’ perception was put out in the media.
‘So I feel like if they portrayed sex that was more realistic, more connected, more at a pace that is like what people actually do, then it might be a boon to have that much sex on television,’ Celeste explained.
‘But if it’s just this crap sex, then, yeah, I think it’s it’s not helpful at all. In fact, it’s quite harmful. It creates expectations that are ridiculous.’
Danielle agreed, adding: ‘And if you ask me, what’s better to see so much violence on TV or sex, I’ll choose sex any minute, especially if it’s shown in a much more realistic and connected way.’
Celeste described the relationship between the client and surrogate as ‘authentic’ and shared how the dynamic can reflect what would happen in a ‘real relationships’, including the possibility of ‘performance problems’ from either the surrogate or client.
‘It is really an authentic relationship,’ she explained. ‘So one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, oh, you know, something’s not working here. Let’s take a break. Let’s try again.’
The sexologist added: ‘That authenticity is what actually prepares people to have real relationships out in the world.
‘So it’s not just like trying to force something and a lot of times surrogates do work with people who have pretty significant dysfunctions, and so they need to work with those kinds of things, both in their clients and if it comes up in themselves as well.’
There’s a ‘triadic relationship’ between the client, surrogate and a separate therapist to help tackle issues, including if the client develops feelings.
Celeste explained: ‘They have the therapist built into the relationship, because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it.’
She added: ‘The therapist is there to keep that the container and the boundaries.’
Danielle expressed that on the show, the boundaries in the relationship were clear between the contributors and surrogates.
‘They felt like, ‘Okay, this is a therapeutic modality that’s going to help me grow’, and that’s how it was set up for them,’ the expert shared.
‘So I don’t feel there was even one moment that people got confused around.’
An estimated one in eight 26-year-olds are still virgin which is a whopping increase from one in 20 in previous generations, according to a study by University College London.
As for what is holding back people from getting intimate with others, Danielle said ‘people just don’t know how to do it’ because of societal pressures.
‘… There’s so much pressure to do it right, this potential or embarrassment and humiliation if you don’t do it well,’ she said.
The sexologist argued, ‘everything that we see is so not realistic’.
Danielle added: ‘We get modelling today from porn which is not realistic. We get modelling from romcoms which is not realistic.
‘We get modelling from influencers which is curated and not realistic. So people just feel like, I have to figure it all out before I go out there or I’m gonna make fun of myself.’
She also felt the heavy online presence in society today impacts relationships and explained: ‘… People don’t understand what needs to go into a relationship in order to make it, keep it going, because with the apps, it feels like there’s so many options out there.
‘And they just, do one swipe. They meet someone for one date, and they don’t know how to keep it going, how to communicate it so you see ghosting.
‘You see like so many things that people do because they try to avoid intimacy.’
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: FOOD WORKER
Emma said: ‘I was the only virgin amongst my friendship group, I felt outnumbered.
‘I believed I was the only human experiencing adult life without intimacy but I couldn’t relax when there is the possibility of intimacy and I had to battle previous traumas.
‘The fact that this concept was being brought to TV made me realise being over 21 and never having sex was not as rare as I thought it was.’
NAME: BEN
AGED: 30
OCCUPATION: CIVIL SERVANT
Ben said: ‘A friend sent me the casting call for Virgin Island on social media. I’m not sure if he knew I was a virgin, but he knew I’d struggled in this area.
‘Funnily enough, my immediate response to his message was ‘not a chance’.’
NAME: DAVE
AGE: 24
OCCUPATION: ACCOUNTANT
Dave said: ‘An initial joke by some friends for some cheap laughs slowly became the opportunity of a lifetime.
‘I have always struggled to open up to people but this led me to feel invisible – a feeling I couldn’t take anymore.
‘I felt like it couldn’t continue and I wanted to do something drastic to get my life back on track.
NAME: JASON
AGE: 25
OCCUPATION: ADMIN WORKER
Jason said: ‘I always felt like a failure in terms of intimacy and socialness.
‘I know the island was primarily for intimacy, but it had
the amazing bonus of helping me improve my social skills – and for that, I will be forever grateful.’
NAME: LOUISE
AGE: 22
OCCUPATION: CARE ADVISOR
Louise said: ‘I never really imagined applying for a show like Virgin Island but my friend sent me the application as a joke, and I thought, ‘Why not?’
‘I was at the point where I was willing to try anything.
‘I had just accepted that there must’ve just been something wrong with me – I think the fact that my friends would see the word ‘virgin’ and think of me says enough to be honest.’
NAME: CHARLOTTE
AGE: 29
OCCUPATION: CARE WORKER
Charlotte said: ‘Because I wanted to rid myself of my shame that I had surrounding my body, and my desire, and my ability to give myself pleasure.
‘I wanted to be honest with myself so that I would not be hindered when having relationships in the future.’
NAME: HOLLY
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: DOG GROOMER
She said: ‘I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to experience being with someone, but I had a lot of anxiety and questions about myself that I felt I had to work through before taking that step.
‘I was definitely nervous, not knowing what to expect, what the others were going to be like, whether I was actually going to get anything out of it.’
NAME: PIA
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: DIGITAL MARKETING ASSISTANT
Pia said: ‘I applied for Virgin Island because of my struggles with vaginismus.
‘I wanted to overcome the pain and anxiety I felt when exploring penetrative sex.
‘Plus, I found intimacy incredibly overwhelming.’
NAME: TAYLOR
AGE: 29
OCCUPATION: RECEPTIONIST
Taylor said: ‘I spent my whole adult life wondering why I found sexual things so difficult when others didn’t.
‘When I was a teenager, the risks of sex seemed to far outweigh the benefits, the only benefit anyone spoke of was babies, and I certainly wasn’t ready for one of those.
NAME: TOM
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: DRAMA STUDENT
Tom said: ‘I always found myself to be a freak because I struggled to lose my virginity whilst others around me continued to pop their cherries.
‘It severely affected my mental health, filling me with self-loathing which in turn made me a worse person.’
NAME: VIRAJ
AGE: 25
OCCUPATION: PERSONAL TRAINER
Viraj said: ‘I had a massive struggle to express myself in front of women.
‘For me it wasn’t about the intimacy stage but more with the confidence side of talking to women and making small talk.
‘This whole idea was encouraged by my friends for me to get out of my comfort zone and go through with this.’
NAME: Zac
AGE: 23
OCCUPATION: DELIVERY DRIVER
Zac said: ‘There was a man reporting that Channel 4 was looking for adult virgins to take part in an experimental TV show. This was of course describing me.
‘At first I was like – no way, I’m not gonna do that, but I started to think about it more and more, and I realised that I wasn’t really getting anywhere by myself, time was just passing me by with no real positive change.’