“Logo Text Jimmy Kimmel Typically Doesn’t Pull Many Punches in His Annual Appearance/Roast at Disney’s Upfront, But His Monologue Tuesday. “I MIGHT NOT See You Again. This Could Be It,” The Jimmy Kimmel Live Host Told The Audence of Ad Buyers in New York. “… I’ve had the pleasure”, – WRITE: www.hollywoodReporter.com
Jimmy Kimmel Typical Doesn’t Pull Many Punches in His Annual Appearance/Roast at Disney’s Upfront, But His Monologue Tuesday Carreded Something of An Existential Edge.
“I MIGHT NOT See You Again. This Could Be It,“ The Jimmy Kimmel Live host told the audience of ad beyers in new york. “…… I’ve had the pleasure of getting to Know A Lot of You Over The Last 23 Years – and I ALSO KNOW that Many of You Are Worked That Ai Might Take Your Jobs. But and Don’t. Powerful Computer – Will be ABLE TO What You Do. More for Less.
“BUT AT LEAST YOU HAITTY JOBS! All Those Kids We Saw Graduating This Weekend, Who Knows? They Might Not Be Able to Get Shitty Jobs.
After-taped sketch (watch it beere) whoh hell to sell Naming Rights to His Soon-to-Born Grandchild, Kimmel Appeared on Stage and Took Shots at RITS C (““ WHICH IS ALSO WHAT MOTH VIEWERS WILL BE SOON “) AND NBCUNIVERSAL (” Versant is a perfect Name. It Already Sounds Like Something You Subscribed To BY ACCIDENT). He reserved his harshsest jokes, thorough, for his own employer. Some of his best from the upfront are belay.
On the State of Network TV: “Usuely I Come Out to Distract You from the fact that We’re Dying. But somehow Network Television – Like Jesus! – Has risen again. Not See Viewership Go Up Year to Year [ABC was flat this season]. I’m not going to teell you some of US it, because it doesn’t matter and please don’t ask. Just Be Happy for Us. ”
On NBC: NBC’s Chairman of Global Advertising, Mark Marshall, Claims His Network Has Amassed ‘The Greatest Collection of Content What Has Ever Been Assembled by One Media Company.’ I Guess Mark Has Never Heard of Pornhub. ”
And: “at the end of the day, this is all just a dick-measuring contest, and nbc still has the biggest one: Dick Wolf, the Michael Jordan of Character Actors Getting Murdered in the Park.”
On ABC’s Dearth of New Shows this Fall: AT LEAST CBS AND FOX ARE MAKING SHOWS. ABC, We Ordered One New Show, and It’s A spinoff of an Old Show. WHICH BEGS The QUESTION: What Are We Doing Here? We Risked Our Lives Flying Into Newark for This? I MEAN, IF YOU WENT to A RESTAURANT AND THE WAITER SAID ‘OUR SPECIAL TONIGHT IS LAST YEAR’S FISH,’ Wuld You Eat It? ”
On Younger Viewers’ TV Habits: Deloitte Just Did A Survey that Showed that Gen Z and Millennial Viewers Are Specting More Time on Social Media than Watching Television. Yeah, no shit. You Think We Needed A Survey to Know That? Fuck You, Deloiite! And you know what? Fuck Those Ungrateful Gen Z D-Bags Too! Oh, you’re too cool for Match Game? Well Guess What? WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS AND YOU NEED THAT HIT OF Moana to keep the Little Bastards Quiet for Two Hours? You’ll come crawling back to disney like dogs. ”
On The ForthoComing Espn Streaming Platform: “They have a Conclave, and A Little Puff of White Smoke Came Out of Jimmy Pitaro’s Ass. ‘Espn.’ And that’s whoy they call US Imagineers. ”
Kimmel Closed by Making A Racher Unusual Appeal to Advertisers to Buy Time On A Show On Another Network – CBS ‘ 60 minutes. “I KNOW IS NOT Part of Our Multi-Platform, But Support 60 minutes – They Desert IT. You have the Power, Because you have the Money. Support Journalism. IT’s Important, and It Doesn’T work with you. ”