““A salary increase is not a request, but an agreement. And the sooner you understand this, the less you will be afraid of talking to your boss.” So said the American economist Thomas Schelling, laureate of the Nobel Prize, when he thought about the nature of negotiations. His point is simple: any interaction in business is an exchange. But there is still a myth in offices that a request for an allowance is heard […]”, — write: businessua.com.ua
And the sooner you understand this, the less you will be afraid of talking to your boss.”
So said the American economist Thomas
Schelling, Nobel laureate, when reflecting on the nature of negotiations. His point is simple: any interaction in business is an exchange. But there is still a myth in offices that asking for an allowance sounds like a whim.
Photo: © Bilnovyny Hence the discomfort, anxiety, desire to postpone the conversation. In fact, this is where the real game begins. The employee brings results to the company, the company responds with money.
And if the balance is disturbed, talking about revising the terms is not a sign of weakness, but an element of business logic. Economists proved a long time ago: the fear of asking for more is not related to numbers, but to culture. In the study
Harvard Business School notes that employees are more likely to underestimate their own contribution than to overestimate it.
This leads to the “tacit consent effect”: people work more than they are paid and consider it the norm.
Financier Ray Dalio wrote in the book Principles: “If you don’t know how to talk about value, you lose it.” His words sound harsh, but in corporate reality they are accurate. An employee who is silent becomes a convenient resource for the company, rather than a partner.
How to turn an awkward conversation into a negotiation? First of all, change the frame. Not “I want”, but “we can”. Not a request, but an offer. When an employee comes with arguments, figures, results, he negotiates, not complains.
Example: A McKinsey study found that companies where employees regularly discuss pay terms show higher levels of engagement and lower turnover. This is not a coincidence. People feel part of the process, not cogs.
An important point: negotiations are always preparation. You cannot enter the boss’s office empty-handed. Facts, indicators, projects that brought profit or saved resources are needed.
Economist John Nash, the author of game theory, wrote that winning is achieved where parties understand each other’s interests. In the context of salary, this means: Show how your success aligns with the company’s interests.
And also – emotional coloring. The awkwardness goes away when you stop making excuses.
Talking about money should not sound like a request for a favor. This is an exchange of arguments.
If the boss refuses, that’s also part of the game. But the refusal does not close the topic forever, it only opens the space for new negotiations.
Because of war, fear disappears where strategy appears. Asking for an allowance means negotiating. And negotiations are always about levels. And if you feel equal, the conversation stops being awkward.
Bottom line: Stop treating a raise as a request. This is an agreement where you have the right to arguments. And the better they are prepared, the higher the chance to turn an awkward conversation into a business one.
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